All I Ever Learned Was From Camera Advertisements

And it has served me well over the decades. a. Loyalty. When the people who make the camera you want to buy also want you to buy their lenses, accessories, in-house magazine, tee shirts, peaked caps, sales brochures, camera bags, and wind cheaters...and you do...you learn the value of loyalty. It is worth all the money you have in the bank. And if your child has a piggy bank you just go looking for a hammer... b. Trust Of course it will work. The advertisement said it would work. Load that film in there and pour that liquid into the top of the tank and start counting to a hundred. It's a wedding shoot. What could possibly go wrong? c. Thoroughness. All the lenses. And all the accessories. And the bellows unit and the slide copier. If it is there in the advertisement I must have it. What? Only a mock-up? I want that mock-up. d. Style If I wear this jacket and these pants and hat and carry that camera, I'll be a world-famous journalist correspondent artist icon. Stop looking at me funny. e. Thrift. If I sell all the lenses I can buy a new body. If I sell the body I can get more lenses. It's all so simple. f. Artistry It worked for Steichen and Steiglitz - it'll work for me. Call up the Museum Of Modern Art and book a week in July. I can feel a body of work coming on... g. Heritage. Of course it's valuable. It says collectable on the wrapper. Here's my money. Why are you giggling?