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Well, it's a good start when you bring your equipment in to be cleaned and repaired and you don't bother to put the front, back, or body caps on. That'll get a smile.
When he finds the lenses in the footy socks sans covers he'll bust right out laughing.
He'll be positively hysterical when he sees the surface of your sensor and after you say you want all the dust and bugs taken out of the prism and focusing screen system of your DSLR it'll be all we can do to hold him down.
We're not suggesting that you become the camera enthusiast that needs to put on a HAZMAT suit in a NASA clean room to change lenses - or the worried individual who shines Mag-Lights into lenses in an effort to find dust motes...and then panics when one appears. You need a sense of balance with this game as much as with any other. But please stack the odds in your own favour:
a. Do clean the front and back elements of your lenses occasionally with a blower, a very soft brush, a microfibre cloth, or a Lens Cleanse sachet. You'll know when it's time by looking at those surfaces and noting if you can see your refection amongst the cake crumbs. If you can see your fingerprints, do something about it before the forensic squad arrive...
b. Look out your lens caps and put them on - front and back. If a body is going to be sitting lensless, cap it carefully. In all these cases, clean the caps before you twist them on.
c. Clean the swarf out of your lens hood.
d. Clean the LCD screen and viewfinder glass carefully too - you'll be surprised how much clearer the world gets. Of course, if you have a touch screen control on your camera this all gets dirty instantly, but take time out to keep it at bay.
e. Take all the equipment out of your camera bag. Turn it upside down and shake it. If dust or fibres fall out, get the smallest nozzle of your vacuum cleaner in there and hoover it out. Then lightly wipe it out with a damp cloth and let it dry naturally.
If leaves, twigs, old tram tickets and a copy of the 1952 British Journal Of Photography falls out, throw the wretched thing in the trash and come buy a fresh bag. Get one with a wipeable nylon lining.
f. Consider fronting your lens with a clear filter as a protector. You don't need the UV business much any more but a premium quality clear protector will keep the dog nose prints off your lens. Owners of Labrador Retriever puppies know exactly what I mean.
In the meantime, we'll get the technician sedated and fill up the lens cloth bowls on the counter. Between us, we should be able to beat the dirt.
