I originally wrote this piece in 2017 for a previous PhotoLive show down in town. For some reason it languished in the file cabinet. I was amazed to see how much of it was perfectly usable for yesterday's PhotoLive at the Edith Cowan campus. Shows that you can preserve anything with enough salt...
A. Who decides on the colour branding for a major manufacturer? Do they try to tap into people's cultural memories? Red, white, and blue? You could sell things on that basis to the Americans, Russians, British, French, Dutch, and Thais. Who are Sony angling for? The Bahgwan? The House of Orange? Ukrainians? Sunkist?
B. Am I the best person who they could find to represent THIS STUFF? What has happened to human dignity? Is the coffee machine working?
C. What if someone asks me when something new is going to arrive? I can't even find out when my own stuff is going to come, let alone anyone else's. It's hard to tell people to exercise patience and wait quietly when you are looking up the street for the DHL van every half hour. Hurry, hurry, hurry...
D. IS the coffee machine working?
E. " Is that the best price? " Seeing as it is 45% of the regular retail price I'm guessing " yes ". But you could always offer a lower one to the boss if you don't mind sardonic laughter...
F: Ooh, look at that stand. Now THAT is a good idea. Why is it not more commonly known? Jeez, I hope more people go to that stand. Or if they would just go away, I could go over there too...
G. Cheer up, Mate. It's Sunday morning and you're alive and this is a free trade show with new cameras and pretty girls about. Don't mope around like a bird just pooped on your tongue...Smile. I'm smiling. I've been smiling since we opened and I'll be smiling when we close. Then I'll undo the hooks.
H. There goes one of the owners on an electric motor scooter inside the hallway. We have officially got out past where the buses run...
I. Okay. Batman, Wonder Woman, and Cat Woman. Now the day can get serious...
J. You bought that? Really. Well, I'll be damned. Hey, Guys, someone bought it! No! No! Don't do the High Five. It looks bad!
K. Late in the day. Nothing to do. If I transpose three numbers on a receipt will I be able to make the accountant and the IT man burst into tears? Well, you never know until you try...
L. Everyone seems to so happy. It's a trap. It's a trap. Oh, well, I guess we succeeded...
M. Coffee. Machine.
Next Week: Back to normal, but don't get comfortable, because we all have our own definition of normal...
Uncle Dick
